How am i supposed to pack for a year? BLAH!
Month: June 2007
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June 4th, 2007...
Had to get rid of her...didn't realize it would hurt so bad...i miss her already. *sigh*
I sold it cuz it's better than sitting in someone's garage, rotting, and depriciating for a year...It's ok. she's in good hands...
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Women.
Hey, i'm SO busy. Sorry everybody. Moving my stuff back to Torrance, and moving out of my Apt. For those of you that haven't been down here, SHAME ON YOU. haha. Just kidding. Not that I care. But I apologize for being MIA. Things are really getting hectic, and it's draining me!!! But other than that, hope everything's going well, and everyone's doing well. And here's the truth about WOMEN~! haha. Hate mail..i see it already...40-ish..................................................... .49.
Adventurous....................Slept with everyone.
Athletic........................................No breasts.
Average looking..................................Moooo.
Beautiful................................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure...................On medication.
Feminist................................................. .Fat.
Free Spirit...........................................Junkie.
Friendship first.............................Former Slut.
New-Age............Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned...................................No B.J.'s.
Open-minded.................................Desperate.
Outgoing.....................Loud and embarrassing.
Professional...........................................Bitch.
Voluptuous........................................Very fat.
Large frame...................................Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate.................................Stalker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes......................................................... ............No
No.......................................................... ...........Yes
Maybe....................................................... ..........No
We need........................................................I want
I am sorry............................................You'll be sorry
We need to talk.................................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead....................................You better not
Do what you want..................You will pay for this later
I am not upset........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight.......Is sex all you ever think about?DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:
I am hungry..........................I am hungry
I am sleepy............................I am sleepy
I am tired..............................I am tired
Nice dress..............................Nice cleavage!
I love you..............................Let's have sex now
I am bored.............................Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?..................I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?..............I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?.....I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?......I'd like to have sex with you.
Women Drivers
This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner. I looked away for a couple seconds! and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver,
which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.
Damn women drivers!
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